03 MAR 2002 - 6.41p
There must be something wrong with me.

[now playing: the Afghan Whigs - '1965']

02 MAR 2002 - 2.42p
I honestly couldn't be in a better mood right now. The weather is great outside, but I hear it's supposed to turn yucky again in a few days. I had such a nice time with Newt today... the shedding is finally slowing down and he has a really nice summer coat growing in. I rode him bareback today and trotted a tiny bit for the first time in forever. I didn't do hardly anything at all, just enough to feel that he's moving great and without any sign of lameness. I really hope he holds up.

I'm finally over my sickness. I'm still a little congested, and have a slight cough, but I've managed to escape death. This excites me terribly, and I think just added to my good mood.

Paul Cox has agreed to send me the Breeders "Head to Toe" ep that I have been relentless about. I feel kind of guilty about it, but if he really doesn't want it, then there's nothing I can do to stop him from sending it to me.

I have to get ready for work... I don't even mind that I have to work today! Yay!

27 FEB 2002 - 1.14p
I am so sick. No school for me today at all.

Paul Cox, if you are getting rid of some of your records, why not get rid of one more? I'm sure you know which one I'm thinking of (in case you don't, I'm thinking of the Breeders "Head to Toe" ep).

Yesterday I reported that a super long entry I had made on the 25th did not submit and was lost. Imagine my surprise when it made an appearance sometime this morning... I swear, it wasn't there yesterday, or early this morning... then all of a sudden, it's there. Weird.

26 FEB 2002 - 10.05p
First and foremost, an extra special thanks goes to Lacey for the lovely gift. I love minotaurs, I love glitter. It was perfect.

I am sick. Not as sick as my mom, but I am slightly miserable. The past two nights, I have woken up at odd hours (5 or 6 a.m.) terribly feverish. Tonight I am taking NyQuil, so hopefully I'll be able to sleep through my discomfort. I hope this stuff goes away soon... it seems as though the only time I feel even halfway decent is when I am in my car. Hmmm... odd.

I had this wonderful, long entry all typed up yesterday... and then when I went to submit, all hell broke loose and my submission vanished. Maybe I'll try to recreate it tomorrow. As for now, I'm tired.

[still playing: bedhead - 'beheaded']

25 FEB 2002 - 12.49p
Since I skipped German today, due to illness, I have decided to resume telling my stupid fucking boring horse story.

To recap a bit, I sold Jimmy in the spring of 1997. I think very fondly of him, and I loved him dearly, but he wasn't really happy or healthy in the situation I put him in. I really don't think anybody could have taken better care of him than I did... but he needed a better quality to his life, and it was time for us to part ways. It really was for the best, and it's sad that his life with his new girl had to end abruptly with his death. He did wonderful things for me, but it was very easy to let him go once I found Newt.

Since I was at Findlay, they had very concrete ideas about what I should buy to replace Jimmy... I needed something capable of doing the bigger fences... and I'd personally decided I did not want another quarter horse and I definitely did not want another "off-colored" horse, after experiencing the minor color prejudice with "yellow" Jimmy. My coaches at Findlay wanted me to find something that could pick up right where I left off with Jim... it would be difficult to find that in our price range (I did make some money on Jimmy, but not as much as I should have due to his medical issues). Jimmy left at the end of my freshman year, I went home and began looking. I'd already been receiving videos on horses from all over the country, and went to look at one in Michigan and some locally. I'd been home from school for a few days, when I took a trip to the tack store for a magazine that had tons of horse classifieds. On the wall at the tack store, there were several postings about horses for sale in the area. One of them was for several quarter horses, all of which were young and sounded green. I took the number down, just because I figured it wouldn't hurt to look and I had nothing to ride, so it would give me something to do.

The horse that I called on was a 16.2 hand bay QH. He sounded great over the phone, but the woman told me two others she had for sale that were nice, as well. We arranged to meet her the following day so we could see all of them. My mom went with me. We arrived at the barn in Grafton a little early... Robin, the woman selling the horses, had one of the horses out, grooming him in the aisle. It wasn't the one I was initially interested in, based on the ad... it was a 5 year old red roan QH she called Newt. I looked him over and I was absolutely in love... my mom said that she knew that I wanted him, even before I saw him move. He was slightly smaller than what we wanted, definitely "off-colored", not experienced, and a QH... everything I previously decided I did NOT want. But I had to have him.

The test ride was horrible... I maintain to this day that I have not had such a bad ride on Newt as I did that first day. He was difficult, a complete asshole. He refused to go forward, reared, and pulled nearly every trick in the book on me. He'd barely been started jumping, but we attempted to take him over some really teeny tiny jumps... it was pretty comical. Since the facility he was at lacked "real" jumps, we arranged for Robin to bring him to Timberlane one day during the next week. There I would have my old trainer Cathy take a look at him, help me with him to see if he had potential to jump, and give me her honest opinion about whether I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life or not. But I wanted him so badly... I just knew there was something so incredible in this skinny, silly horse.

The trial at Timberlane was scary... Newt was wild... and jumping him was difficult. He'd never seen "real" jumps before, but was brave and never even thought about refusing. But he over jumped everything by several feet, making it very hard for me to stay with him. His potential was obvious... Cathy loved him, but had reservations about his size (his height was slightly too small, but he was so skinny that it made it that much worse)... but she said that he was so long-strided and athletic that she wouldn't be able to sleep if we didn't pursue him. She suggested we offer less money that what Robin was asking, and see if she would take it.

Much to our delight, Robin accepted our low offer... she had 8 horses, and her husband was insistant she get rid of some of them immediately. We brought Newt home immediately following his prepurchase vet exam. People at Timberlane must have thought I was crazy... Newt was wild and so very green. I worked with Cathy all summer, trying to prepare him for what was going to lie ahead at Findlay when I returned in the fall. I also never called Findlay to tell them I had made a purchase... they would need to see a video of him, and there was no way I could put the bucking, running, crazy baby horse on tape and send it to them and have them give me the okay to bring him there. In late July, I finally called and told them about him... they wanted to see a tape... so we waited for the hottest day in August to make it. Newt was sluggish and didn't make his regular attempts to kill me. Once receiving the tape, they called and told me I could bring him.

Findlay was the worst possible thing that I could have thing I could have done. I had been somewhat miserable with small town life my freshman year... add a crazy, misbehaving baby horse to that, and it spelled disaster. My trainer there hardly helped me with him, probably since he wasn't the dream horse she'd pictured me buying. By October (after maybe 6 weeks in the program), Newt was borderline dangerous. Every ride was scary, and I hated it. I didn't hate him, because I still believed deep down that there was a good horse in there somewhere... but I hated that I wasn't getting any help and I had no idea what to do. I became very depressed, and made the decision that semester would be my last at Findlay. I decided to move home, keep my horse in training with a trainer, and attend CSU.

I started calling around, trying to figure out who to take Newt to. He needed serious help... somebody patient who would be able to help make my goals with Newt realistic. My mom was beginning to think we'd made a horrible purchase... she hated Newt, and truly believed he was nothing more than a reject that we paid too much for. If I had a dollar for everytime she told me, "maybe you should realize he's never going to do what you want," I'd be rich. I begged her to give him another chance, since she was funding most of this at the time. I couldn't give up on him, and I promised her that this was going to be the horse that I won a Congress medal on. She probably just laughed at me.

We decided that once the semester was over, we would take Newt to a trainer named Terry Thompson. Terry was known for going slow with horses (sometimes too slow, if there is such a thing), and being particularly patient with difficult horses. Terry was the nicest ever... we made an arrangement that if I rode several horses a day for him, he'd give us a big price break on training and board. It worked out well... we brought Newt to him once the semester was over. He let Newt settle in for a week or so before starting anything with him. Once we did start him, we kept him on IV tranquilizers for almost a month, just to make him rideable... yes, he was really that bad.

More later...

24 FEB 2002 - 7.04p
Today was such a nice day... and I had to waste it by feeling sick, and stuck at work. I ache everywhere. I have never been sick where I ache as much as I do now. It's not nice.

Last night was fun, but I did grow tired and irritable towards the end of the night... that's probably just because I was coming down with this nasty shit. I am totally not going to want to go to school tomorrow... at least I don't have to work, and I've already called Laura and talked to her about NOT riding Kid until I feel better. I think I'm going to get on Newtie bareback tonight and do our walk that way. I don't have the energy to tack him up... and I doubt I have the strength to tighten the girth over his fat belly.

I need to get a haircut. And I'm thinking of possibly coloring my hair, upon David's suggestion a while back. I think I'll hold off a little while on the cut... long hair is so easy to be lazy about.

[now playing: bedhead - 'beheaded' cd]

23 FEB 2002 - 10.18a
My mom just informed me that the new Survivor starts this week. I'm down with that like four flat tires.

I've been riding Newt lately... nothing exciting, just a half an hour of walking. He's starting to get a bit unruly from the ground, so I figured riding would be a nice change of pace. It also might gear him up for when we start back to work. I've decided to try starting him back over spring break. Hopefully he'll be back to his normal self. He's so fat I can barely get his girth buckled to where it used to be. And he's shedding so much... if anybody wants to brush my horse, I will gladly pay you. I do brush him daily, but I don't have the time to spend an hour getting all his loose fur off. It never ends.

John confirmed my suspicions that the Shins have indeed sold their souls to McDonald's. Yipes. When we were in the bar the other night, I swore I heard "New Slang" coming from the television. McShins... kind of sad.

Yesterday in German, Prof. Hinze gave Ivy a really old book of German children's songs. I thought that was so sweet... she loves when we sing in class. I love it, too, but my favorite songs are the German drinking songs. Hmmm... maybe if I take him out for a beer he'll give me a book of German drinking songs.

Yesterday in the mail, I received quite a surprise. It was a poster tube, from the Beachland. Much to my delight, it was the Breeders poster that they've been selling. I'm sure it will look lovely framed, next to my Afghan Whigs poster. Thank you, David. That was such a nice gesture. I love it.

Speaking of the Breeders, I want Paul Cox to know that I am not going to rest about "Head to Toe." Send it home to where it belongs, Paul Cox.

Tonight I plan on going to Becky's birthday function. It should be swell... can't wait to see everyone.

22 FEB 2002 - 9.02a
after a mild anxiety attack in dave davis class, john and i went to mitzi's just so we could watch the olympics. wow, the olympics were great. we watched skating, and john impressed me with his knowledge and gave me a few pointers regarding our excuse for cutting german the other day.

you see, ivy and i cut german the other day. we didn't want to be there. i don't know what i'm doing at all anymore. so, we left. it was a really risky escape, but we made it out okay. yesterday we were trying to think of excuses to give to prof. hinze about why we skipped... and we decided that we had to catch a plane. to the olympics. to be skeleton judges. for real.

john informed me that two women from the u.s.a. won gold and silver in the skeleton. go, u.s.a.!

i'm having a hard time writing anything else. it looks to be a fairly dull weekend here. i work tonight and sunday. i might go out for becky's birthday thing on saturday. i'd call paul about it, since i know he and brett are driving there for it... but i refuse to call paul ever again unless he promises me he's going to answer the phone. i can't deal with his roommates.

i kind of have this taste in my mouth like i just ate a pickle. but it's weird, because i have had no pickles... just orange juice.

20 FEB 20002 - 8.48a
i know there's a lot of people currently worried or wondering about my current situation. if you don't know what i'm talking about, then hopefully you'll never know. anyhow... i just want everybody to know that i'm pretty sure things are under control and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. thank you for your concern.

ivy made the best carrot cake. i almost wish i'd taken the last piece of it and saved it for breakfast this morning. instead i am enjoying a piece of godiva for breakfast.

david gets to see the breeders tonight in minneapolis. i'm jealous. i wish i could have seen them more than once on this tour. i'm kind of sad, because the only reason i didn't go to columbus was because i was all concerned about missing class that night. well, duh, wouldn't you know i ended up skipping both of my classes that day? and the only class it would have really affected would have been dave davis. sheezus. i should've gone. anyway, i hope david gets to hear "hellbound" at his show... if they play it, david, please save it on your phone or something.

oh well. i should go get ready for school. blah. i don't want to go today.

[now playing: modest mouse - 'this is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about' cd]

18 FEB 2002 - 4.05p
i just realized that today is my sister's 30th birthday. david turns 30 next... in a few short months.

not much is going on... bumming around on my day off. last night i was more bored than i had been in a long time. i parked myself on the couch a la nashville style and watched the behind the music about notorious b.i.g. on vh1. tonight looks to be more of the same... except i'm going to try to get some german homework done. i also really should be working on that paper due for dave davis tomorrow... but who knows if i'll ever get around to it. i've started working on the lead, but i'm not sure how appropriate it is... Two weeks ago, I hardly knew John existed... thanks to Dave Davis for pairing us up, I now have a crush that I probably shouldn't be having. Oh well, at least he likes to drink...

if anybody would like to fund a trip for my spring break, let me know.

[now playing: the afghan whigs - 'black love']

17 FEB 2002 - 8.03a
bah. it is far too early for me to up. i was so tired and cranky for the better part of yesterday. i never made it out to see newt and i'm going to see him before work today.

so, the breeders... well, i was trashed. i heard a lot of songs that i knew (but NOT "hellbound"... i was devastated) and the songs i didn't know sounded great. they opened with "no aloha" and i know they played the instrumental new jersey song. see, paul h... lacey really should have had your ticket so she could have performed with them. paul got to hear "doe"... no fair.

anyhow. i knew that john was going to be there... and i was a little worried about not being able to find him. it was crowded, and i had no idea where he'd be. i figured standing nearish the entrance to the bar would be a safe bet... he was bound to walk past at some point, and i was also conveniently near the bar. sure enough, i spotted him walking past and chased after him, abandoning paul. i knew paul would understand. john introduced me to some guy who teaches at csu... seemed like a cool guy. then there was the conversation with this guy that i'm not sure i can explain... he was talking about some show he'd seen john at, but he couldn't do math. but john really wasn't at that show, so i guess it didn't really matter.

i also got to meet john's friend... his name might have been chris, but i kept calling him john on accident (oops). he was from jacksonville, florida, although he tried telling me he wasn't really from there. i didn't believe him for a minute.

paul ended up driving my car back home. i can't believe it. after the last time i let him drive my car, and after that time in lakewood when he almost crashed my car, i swore he was never allowed to drive it again. this was obviously an emergency, though. when we got home, he made sure i had my alarm set so i could be up to clean my riding boots in the morning. thank you, paul.

horse show was okay. i ended up spending a good portion of my day there, much to my dismay. by the time i actually showed, i was very cranky and hungry and headachey. our jumping trips were good, i guess. they're getting better... he was much better than he was for liz the other day. for the first time ever, we did not win the hack. we had to take second to a really fancy pony... in all reality, i suppose this pony was in the same league as kid so i didn't mind coming in second to it. and besides, it was a little girl on a pony... the cuteness factor probably played a big role in the win. i'm not nearly as cute. in fact, laura and i were joking that i was probably the only person in the intermediate hunters that was old enough to drink and smoke. i want to move up to the low adults, but just have to get through kid's issues. guh.

ivy and i went out last night after i got home. we went to coventry, hoping to eat at tommy's (i wanted the french onion soup)... but tommy's was closed (?). it was weird. so we ended up at soul vegetarian instead, which was fine with me. food was okay (tartar sauce is questionable), smoothie was good. it was no tommy's french onion soup, though.

[now playing: belle and sebastian - 'tigermilk']

15 FEB 2002 - 1.59p
fuck yes. tonight is the breeders show and i am so excited i could burst. how could anybody not be excited about seeing kim deal? i'm going with paul h, who will most likely share my excitement (it's contageous!)... we will run into my new friend john there... and hopefully lacey, as well. i am keeping fingers crossed that the perfect guy comes through and plays the role of the perfect cousin. paul h, if you read this... give me a call. would you like to come over and drink beforehand? what time does the show even start?

i hope they play 'hellbound.' that might be the only song i really, really, really want to hear.

i horse showed yesterday. won the hack on kid... no surprise... i only ride the hack winners. kid was very naughty for liz the professional, so i'm a little nervous about showing him tomorrow. the show at the andrew's school was a little rough, and i know liz had worse rides yesterday than either of us had at andrew's.

i skipped both of my classes yesterday in honor of valentine's day. no, wait. it was just because i was tired. i did get a valentine, though... so did phoebe. david sent a box of chocolates... and the chocolates are shaped like one of my least favorite states - minnesota! ack! phoebe got a box of peanut butter cookies. she's happy.

[now playing: spoon - "soft effects" ep]

13 FEB 2002 - 9.31p
my, my, my. tomorrow is valentine's day. i think most of my valentines have been distributed... now i'm just going to sit back and wait for mine to start rolling in. i bet it's going to happen any minute now. ivy did get me a godiva truffle. she is the best.

i have been informed by lacey that guided by voices will be gracing us in april. i am there, and then some... especially since i will not be going to see them in minneapolis over spring break. i'm excited about the show here. yay, me. lacey has asked me to accompany her for the evening, and i will very willingly do so. i don't think lacey has ever seen them in cleveland. i know she and i went to columbus once... and the infamous oberlin show with mr. ted leo opening. the beer there was insanely cheap... like $1.50 or something insane for imports. i was very drunk when we left that night... lacey had to drive back home... and i vaguely remember complaining that i was sure i was deaf in one ear.

newt is getting fat... like a big roan thanksgiving turkey. and he's shedding so much... i am covered in hair when i'm done grooming him, and i still sweep up shovels full. it's some intense shedding, i tell you. i'm showing kid tomorrow (and saturday, too)... and possibly another horse for the trainer laura is working for this weekend. might be fun.

i decided to not go out tonight... only because if i show up even remotely intoxicated to show kid in the morning, laura will be irate. little does she know that i've done some of my best showing feeling the effects from having fun the night before. the breeders show is friday night... so i'm hoping that carries over to saturday so i can have some really great rides on kid. i can't believe it's already the breeders show... i remember finding out about it before christmas and nearly peeing my pants. ivy and i were at tommy's, and i had to make some emergency phone calls to tell everyone i know. at least i have gbv to look forward to now. yay.

10 FEB 2002 - 11.32a
party's over! lacey seemed to really enjoy her gifts... especially the puppet. i'm glad she liked it as much as i thought she would.

i'm not going to talk about the potential current condition of lacey's house. i hope she wears a blindfold this morning. there's also a few other incidents i will avoid rehashing. so many parts of the evening were way cool, but other parts smell like vomit... literally. overall, i had a very good time. it's always nice to hang out with friends that i hardly ever get to see.

i would like to give mad props to ray for the following statement: "your pants are down, your head's in the toilet... you're OUT!!!!" ray's live interpretation of this is definitely worthy of an award. i think about it this morning and i'm still cracking up. i'm also enjoying thinking about how ray shares my opinion of the white stripes.

i spoke briefly with jason jackson yesterday. laura said he wouldn't be there when i called and that i should just leave him a funny voicemail... but he answered, so we talked. i told him that laura said he wouldn't answer and he said, "that's because i don't answer when laura calls... but of course i'm going to answer when you call." he's having some problems down there in florida. i hope things turn out okay.

[now playing: the shins - 'oh, inverted world']

7 FEB 2002 - 11.37p
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LACEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow... what a night... tonight in the dave davis class he paired us up to practice our "interviewing technique" or something. i was paired up with a nice boy named john. dave davis wouldn't pair me with paul... and all was good. john and i decided to blow off dave davis and headed to a bar called mitzi's fairly close to campus. turns out it's the oldest bar in cleveland. weeeeeeee! we had a good time. five straubs later, and i am home. john will be at the breeders and i am excited. i have a new friend and i like him.

[now playing: belly - 'star' cd]

05 FEB 2002 - 11.29a
i am almost done with my dave davis obit. just a little more to go, which i'm going to save for later. if dave davis (of the cleveland plain dealer) ever teaches com 225 again, and if his future students ever do a search on him, i hope they find my blog. dave a davis. cleveland, oh. plain dealer. rock and roll.

last night when i was being lazy and not wanting to do work, i discovered that kelley deal makes handbags in her spare time. holy shit, i want like six of them. i was always kind of "ehhhhh..." about kelley, but now i have this new found respect for her. i'm really excited about the possibility of a new little bag for spring and summer (i replaced my brown satchel with a wee winter purse) and one made by a breeder would be especially cool.

i tried to get paul cox to give me his copy of the breeders'"head to toe." but he won't. apparently mark robinson gave it to him. big stinking deal. paul cox never listens to that record, and he's just being a greedy record collector.

we went to look at malley yesterday. she's definitely cute... nice mover... put together okay, i guess. she's very friendly and sweet for a baby. but i don't know... we have a feeling she's not getting some of the groceries she needs (she's very skinny) and as much as i'd like to take her out of that situation, i worry about how the lack of good baby food will affect her as an adult. oh well, we'll still keeping her in mind but we want to look at more.

[now playing: radiohead - 'the bends' cd]

04 FEB 2002 - 1.18p
hellbound, hellbound.

i skipped german today. i'm bad. but i'm so tired, and i didn't have time to study any of it or do homework over the weekend.

last night we went to see the moldy peaches. i think anybody that's cool was there. if you weren't there, you aren't cool. i almost missed the show by overnapping, but luckily paul h called me, despite assuring him earlier that i'd set an alarm (or assuring my mom. i can't remember which. i was tired.). we saw tim tobias there. i thought it was tim tobias, but he looked too young to be tim tobias to me. he was standing nearish to us at the bar... and paul h was saying something about having a tiny robert pollard (?) and young tim started cracking up and said, "i'm going to have to tell him that. i'm in his band." tim tobias, if you're reading this... i want you to know, you look so much younger up close than you do from a distance. and you're short.

anyhow. the show. beckett was amusing, as always. i haven't seen him... um, perform... in a while. he actually had human friends onstage with him. i don't know anything about the second band. girls were singing. and the moldy peaches were super top notch. it was an enjoyable evening.

thanks to david for archiving my blog. i am not handy enough with the computer stuff to do that on my own. and he just admitted that if the strokes weren't so trendy, he might buy their album. hrmmm.

speaking of paul cox, i have no idea what his deal is. i emailed him, and he claims he has no deal, and that i am silly. really, paul cox... what is your deal?

i'm going to look at a yearling filly today. her name is malley, but if we buy her, i'm going to change it to "naked." malley o'malley is a bit much... and if we call her naked, then my horses will be naked and nude. i doubt we will buy her... i never want to buy the first one i look at.

[now playing: guided by voices - 'isolation drills']